my favorite “Love and Logic” moment…

I have referred to myself as a “Love and Logic Parent” for several years now. Introduced to just small pieces of the program here and there left me wanting for more. I eventually sought out training by the creators themselves, Jim Fay and Foster Cline. At first, my husband was a little leery of the program, thinking I was bringing home more of my counselory-hocus-pocus. However, after seeing the results with our daughter, he too was sucked in. To share one of my favorite “Love and Logic” moments in our home, I will first have to describe a usual situation with our 11-year-old, full of the preteen eye rolling and the what’s-in-it-for-me attitude. After grocery shopping one afternoon last summer, we had to bring in all the goodies when we got home. With our car full of bags and her baby brother in his car seat, my daughter stood at our front door waiting to be let in. Oh, she was a sight! Completely oblivious to the world, her ears plugged with her infamous iPod, she stood there, arms crossed and foot tapping. No offer to help. No care if the rest of us got out of the car. I looked over and fantasized about all that I wanted to say to her: “Get your butt over here and help me. After all I do for you?" And then a little voice in my head reminded me of Love and Logic parenting. I told myself to bite my tongue for a bit. “Remember, Christy: No reminders. No nagging or complaining. No lectures. Let the consequence do the teaching.” After carrying my son in my arms with the diaper bag, my purse, a couple of grocery bags on my fingers and my keys in the other hand, I let us all in. My daughter skipped down to her room. I had two more trips to make. After putting everything away, I reconsidered whether I wanted to bring her up and let her know how disappointed I was. I waited till my husband got home and updated him on the latest of her teen moments. We agreed to delay the consequence for another time she wanted something. Days went by and she knew nothing about my plan. Everything went on as usual. One day, my daughter came up and asked in her really sweet voice, “Mooooommmm, can you take me and my friend to the mall?” In my sweetest voice, I replied, “Oh honey, I’ve got bad news. Remember the other day when we came home after going to the store and I had to carry your brother and all the groceries in by myself? Yeah. I am just too exhausted from that. It was really rough. And I just am afraid I don’t have enough energy to take you to the mall today. Maybe next time.” I walked off and left her stunned and speechless. She is used to Love and Logic and knows that if she started to argue with me I would simply state, “Love you too much to argue.” Needless to say, and without any other discussion about this, she is now the first one grabbing bags out of the car after we go grocery shopping. And then I get to think, "Wow, what a nice young woman she is turning out to be!"

Ann R


Ann R