After a brief conversation with Jean about what to do when kids lie, I tried it on my daughter the night before last and WoW...it really does work!
I didn't get angry, I didn't ACCUSE her of lying (ie back her in a corner). I said, "Sydney, that feels in my heart like that story is not the truth".
"Ok. Sydney. I just want you to know that I am not angry and you aren't going to get in trouble if it is a lie. I'm just really worried about our relationship. If that IS a lie, what do you think it would do to our relationship with each other?".
She gives me a thumbs down, but doesn't say anything.
"I said yea, I think so too. I really want a GREAT relationship with you because I LOVE YOU."
She was real quiet for a while and say's, the story was not true.
I said "Thank you for telling the truth! Now our relationship is still GREAT!"
I told my husband the new strategy and the story I gave you above. He was so impressed he went to work yesterday and retold the story!! He then said, we should say just about the same thing when our son tries to argue with us.
We can't wait to use, "By you continuing to not take NO for an answer, what do you think that will do to our relationship?".
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I felt like I have been at my WITS END, and this has definitely given me a new lease on parenting!